Love B

Dear Diary? Dear Destiny.

Dear Destiny, 

I have wished so many things in the past 23 years. 

I have blown countless eyelashes off the tip of my fingers, wished upon shooting starts, blown out a dozen birthday candles, even made wishes on the wishbone from chicken carcasses. 

This brings me to my question, do we have a destiny or do we create our own?

Destiny is defined as;  ”Destiny or fate refers to a predetermined course of events. It may be conceived as a predetermined future” 
 

But how can our future be predetermined, that would be quite a lot of premature calculating from a higher power, would it not? 

And if we can choose our own destiny then ultimately, we are to blame for the achievements, or lack there of achievement in our life time. 

So we may end up at 60 years old with no career, no family, no money a heart condition and no idea about tomorrow, or, we can reach 60 and are retired, with a large family, a giant portfolio, a holiday planned next week and a lifetime of positive memories. 

Whichever path we do take they all lead us to one lesson or another. 

In the bigger picture, don’t cheat, don’t lie, don’t steal. 

We are here to make the most of our lives, to laugh, to sing, to dance, to love, to enjoy our lives, so dear Destiny, please let my future be filled with laughter and love and enjoyment and warmth and adventures and support and kindness.  

I don’t want to be brought down by the weight of confusion and uncertainty, I don’t want to be smothered by the unknown that tomorrow holds. I would like to be free of the worry and anxiousness the comes with the question of ‘what-if’, I would like to rid the discomfort I hold towards certain mistakes I have made. 

Let go of the resentment i cling to, release the venom that runs through my veins from former human faux pas. 

Let go of anger, its acid wears away at the delicate layers of your happiness. 

Love B xo

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Integrity. Reality. Dead?

As i sit here so completly distracted  from the Psychology essay i should be composing I am saddened at the reality that chivelry really is dead.

Dead and gone are the days of holding ones umbrella and opening the car door and walking side by side at a rhythmic pace. 

What ever happened to the Romeo and Juliet? Marie Antoinette and Julius Caesar?  

Circa the 20th century, we have re-invented real love with the likes of Carrie and Big and the unconventional coming together of of two friends, Ross and Rachel through a baby born in wedlock. 
It seems sad to think that so many of us are completely desensitised to the scent of genuine intrigue and allure that we wouldn’t know real adoration it if it bit us on the hand!    

No false pretences, no cover up, no hype, just a real stroll through the park, a really lazy saturday night with dvds, pizza and tracksuits. 
No need for fancy cars or guest lists. Forget the expensive bill and the who-knows-who,  none of that matters at the end of the day. If your alone when you wake up morning after morning, you have no-one to roll over and smile about, no-one to be excited to see, no-one that wonders where you are when you dont come home, then how does that add up to a sufficient existence? 
 

If you have nothing to live for, then you have nothing to die for, may infact reign true. 

The above mentioned are all well and good, the materialistic side of life is necessary to a flawless actuality, but the point under the spotlight is that the goods become insignificant when you are blind sighted at what constitutes reality.
 

Integrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching…

Love B xo

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Be kind and carry on..

That butterfly feeling. That giddiness from the ear stages of a new relationship. 

That awkward moment before the first kiss. The moment you when you know its about to happen. The smell of coffee in the morning. The warmth of freshly baked bread. To be greatly disappointed or saddened is to have have felt passionately. To mentally replay a moment in time is to have been affected. Integrity is being completely selfless in a moment of crisis. That awkward silence, the petrol light coming on, weekends, the smell of rain, that one song that will take you right back to an exact moment in time, an outfit that makes you look really good, a nice text message, a surprise. To question ones actions, motives, over analyse ones thoughts, is to be human. 

We are all the same, we all breath the same air, feel the same pain and bleed the same blood. 

We are all in the same race. 

Its okay to stop, its okay to take your time. 

Rest, pause, wait. 

Spend one minute and admire the company your with, the sunset through the sky scrapers, the art within the architecture of gridlock. 

Be kind and carry on. 

Love B xo

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Reality check.

It has always seemed strange to me… The things we admire in men, kidness and generousity, openess, honesty, understanding and feeling, are the concomitants of failure in our system. 

And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquistitvness, meaness, egotism and self-interest, are the traits of success. 

And while men admire the quality of the first, they love the produce of the second. 

So where do you draw the line, how do you meet half way? How do you pull back from too far gone? Cold water in winter is never a nice feeling but perhaps an icey wakeup call could be a refreshing blessing. 
Dont talk ill of those behind their back.
Dont take for granted the luxury of a clean glass of water.
Dont get too comfortable with that scarf that keeps your neck warm.
Dont forget your please’s and thank-you’s. 
Be loyal. 
Be open.
Smile.
Wait.
Slow down.
Dont be in a rush to get there.
‘There’, won’t ever disappear.
In the mad dash to ‘there’, you may miss the seasons changing, you may miss the crunching of the leaves, the first star of the night, the last minute of yesterday, the only chance at should have. 

Sweet dreams.

Love B x 

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Really reality?

Take me back to the church.
Take me back to the cookie cutters and the open balcony.
Take me back to the ferrari and burnt car key.
Take me back to the roses and the black on cream.
Take me back to 7pm, take me back to the front seat.
Reality hits.
My hair is cut, the colour is gone.
10 minutes becomes an eternity, 2hours a life time.
The road is long, the road signs are monotonous.

I can’t breath.

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The break of day.

These mornings remind me of you.
The light is soft, the breeze is cold.
These mornings, they remind me of you.
The early rise, those yellow shoes, the scent in the air,
they remind me of you.
The feeling it lingers, every now and then,
and though years become days, these mornings,
they will always be the same.
The sun still rises, the air is still sweet, the breeze is always sharp,
and these mornings, they remind me of you.
With a crunch in my step and the glare in my eye the day begins
and the morning becomes night.
Until tomorrow, another day will dawn,
I pray the feeling is different with a new day born.



Love B xo

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The sun is setting!

As 2010 draws to a close, for many this time of year is a time of reflection. A final assessment or observation of the mistakes, regrets, wishes, resolutions and achievements which made 2010 memorable. As each day slowly passes, it comes as a shock to most that the year is again, drawing to a close. January 1st 2011, is set to give us all new hope, new light and a new outlook on life. All that we may have failed at or given up on in 2011 is suddenly shining with a brand new promise of reincarnation as a new year is upon us! Jobs lost, school failed, licences suspended, relationships over, bank accounts empty, flooded streets, broken bones, crashed cars and friends forgotten, the concept of a fresh start is enticing to all. The guarantee of a new beginning is enough to jump start an abundance of positivity to conquer the world! Though new years eve only comes along once a year, hold on to the confidence thatevery minute passing is another chance to turn it all around.It appears that this time of year is a time of celebration, a time to find joy in the simplicity of life, a time of happiness and love, so as the festive season comes to a close don’t loose sight of what could be.  Right all the wrongs, fill up all the blank spots and enter the new year with the certainty that anything you set out to achieve can actually BE DONE!!With all this talk of the 2012 Mayan Prophecies being brought to life, it doesn’t take much to freak us into a state of enjoying every moment! 365 days until our calendar will again be wiped clean, so as this year comes to an end don’t loose hope in turning tomorrow into anything you want it to be!The sun is fast setting on 2010, so for everyone that I have shared this year with thank you. For everyone who has driven me crazy, made me laugh, hugged me, kissed me,  made me yell, listened to me, eaten with me, laughed at me, spoken about me, made me think twice, scared me, bumped into me,  given in to me and loved me, thank you. 2011, see you soon! 

Love B xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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